Why I Don’t Believe Happiness is a Choice

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I have read a loooooot of New Age and self-help books.  More than enough for one lifetime.  I generally appreciate and agree with the overall sentiments expressed in many of them, especially when it comes to taking responsibility for one’s life and realizing one’s empowerment to improve it in areas from health to spirituality to finances.

But I have to tell you honestly that when such books (or Facebook memes, or inspirational quotes, et al) tell me that happiness is a choice, I tune out.

I don’t believe that one’s decisions have no bearing on that person’s mood, but saying happiness is a choice basically says that happiness is nothing but a choice, and being happy is as simple as making the right choice.

This is, in my view, invalidating, unfair, and a vast oversimplification of human emotions, not to mention powerful barriers various individuals may have toward experiencing happiness, as well as love, joy, and other positive emotions and states of being.

I didn’t like that advice before I found Pranic Healing, but after I learned MCKS’ Pranic Psychotherapy, I realized in a concrete way why whittling down one’s emotions to a choice was an even grosser oversimplification of the complex factors at play.

Let’s take sadness as an example.  It doesn’t matter what the reason is for a person’s sadness, whether it is sensible to you or me.  If a person feels sad, there is a buildup of this type of energy in their system, and it is therefore nearly impossible not to feel it!

In case that statement sounds vague, let me specify that emotional energies are specific and concrete types of energies.  With experience in energy healing, most any healer will come to recognize them when they are working on someone.  First of all, you start to feel the emotion of the other person you are working on.  The healer starts off feeling calm and peaceful and then has moments of being hit with a wave of a certain emotion.  This is the energy coming off the other person as it is being expelled during the healing process.  (In Pranic Healing, we have specific methods for disposing of it so it does not just get absorbed in our systems.)

Next, the healer can simply scan the energies present.  Sadness, when scanned (felt with the hands) has a distinct feeling–it is very heavy.  For a person who can see energy, they will observe that the energy of sadness, while variable based on other emotions present, will generally look like an irregular, clumpy, or asymmetrical cloud of grayish energy.  Positive emotions look and feel completely different.

Once negative emotions have clouded the energy system and gotten stuck in the chakras (energy centers) and meridians, simply choosing a different state of being, while possible, is unrealistic and certainly unfair to expect of someone.  The best hope for most of us is a distraction to get our mind off of our negative emotions and switch to different ones.  However, this is not a long-term solution, as it doesn’t get rid of the negativity (aka negative energy), and only distracts us from it until it just gets stirred up again, as it is bound to do.

The better option by far would be to extract the negative emotional energies from the person’s system.  As I hope you are concluding by now, it is not possible to feel sad without sadness energy in your system.  It is not possible to feel anger without anger energy in your system.  You won’t feel depressed without depression energy in your system.  Or anxiety.  Or anything else.

Most people think that when bad things happen, they feel a negative emotion in response to it.  A much more accurate way to put it for those of us who habitually feel certain things like anger, anxiety, fear, depression, and other emotions, is that certain situations trigger what is already there.  What is already there might have been created or generated decades ago–or last week.  In any case, old emotions have to be released if we are to feel peaceful and go through life without quite a bit of turmoil.

Your options are “letting go,” either subconsciously or consciously (lots of us do this with small things naturally anyway, but it’s pretty hard with big stuff), therapy, Pranic Healing, or another healing technique.

In Pranic Healing, we can pluck the things that we don’t want out with the flick of a hand (or a crystal)!  We can even implant positive energies in their place.  I know this because I have seen it work countless times, on countless people–not to mention myself.

Will the person feel that negativity again?  In other words, is the healing permanent?  Will doing Pranic Healing mean I won’t feel stress anymore?

Habitual, long-term negative emotions are highly likely to be caused by a huge buildup of them over time, or resulting from a traumatic experience that continues to get triggered.  By getting Pranic Healing on those emotions, the person will be substantially or completely healed of them.  They won’t get triggered at the drop of a hat anymore.  And this is huge.  Frankly, most people never even get that relief.

When years of old stuff is cleared away, it is simply far easier to be calm, even when stressful situations arise.  We still feel stress and negative emotions, but as I have said in other posts–it is extremely common for us that we aren’t feeling the stress of that day– rather, the stress of the day stirred up the stress of a couple of decades that has been sitting in our system for years.  So small things FEEL massively stressful!

Once years of negative emotional energies are extracted, our thoughts are free to go in a new, positive direction, and it is extremely easy for them to do so!  This is when it could be fair to say happiness is a choice… But by then it is so easy to feel happy, choosing it would be redundant!

One exception to this: anger toward someone who has hurt you.  Healing this is very difficult until the person forgives the “wrongdoer”.  The energy system holds on tight to this anger and hurt and a healer will have a very hard time extracting it unless the person has either consciously or subconsciously let go of the situation and any anger toward the other.  Even if the healer was able to extract the energies of anger and resentment, the person would re-create them soon enough until they have let the person and situation go.  In this case, you need to do Master Co’s Forgiveness Meditation video.  For difficult or traumatic hurts, you may need to do the exercise for 30-60 days.

After a healing, you may notice in a few days you are feeling that negative emotion again.  Has it “come back”?  No.  There was simply more stuff buried deeper in your system that has come to the surface.  In Pranic Healing, we strongly suggest  follow up sessions until the negative thoughts and emotions are healed.

So while we can say happiness is partly a choice, and refusing to take responsibility for one’s life certainly is, I strongly dislike statements that make it sound like happiness is nothing more than a choice.  I strongly feel we all need much more help in life than hearing we just need to change our mind about our emotions.

 

Information on sessions here

The Monumental Impact of Your Subconscious Stress

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I was so excited to read an article at the gym last week from Shape magazine called How to Melt Iceberg Stress.  I had never heard the term “iceberg stress” before but was more than aware of its existence!

The sub-heading of the article reads, “Some tension is so buried, you don’t even know it’s there. But that kind of stress and anxiety is hurting your health and stealing your happiness.”  You can read their article here.

They’re not exaggerating.  Like an iceberg, this kind of stress is huge but below the surface and hidden.  This type of stress–not the daily or weekly irritations–is what really drags us down–and can even cause serious health problems later in life.

Like background noise, long-term stress, whatever it may be about, eventually goes unnoticed-and therefore unaddressed.  Yet this stress has a powerful effect on our physical health as well as our ability to experience peace, happiness, and even simple relaxation.

Iceberg stress is present for so long, and we are so used to it, that the way we feel with it is our baseline for contentment.  We say and think we feel good only when there is no other stress on top of this baseline.

An example of iceberg stress can be long-held anger.  Just because you haven’t thought of the person you feel anger toward in 6 months does not mean you do not still harbor anger toward them.  You might believe you feel fine when you are actually a bit agitated or unsettled on a constant basis.  You don’t know that letting go of and healing from this anger would allow you a new level of peace and happiness on a day-to-day basis.

This subconscious but still present anger manifests in a very real way in your energy system.  It is, quite literally, negative energy which sits in your energy field–in your aura, and in the related chakras.  In this example, old anger manifests as congested energy in the back solar plexus chakra (among other areas).  The chakra will be clogged with dirty, clumpy, grayish energy.  And this energetic blockage has many negative side effects!

We will feel dragged down–without knowing it.  It will take more for us to feel happy than it would if that old anger wasn’t there.  We might feel agitated most of the time in general, and also get angry more easily than otherwise.  This kind of person will naturally blame their daily angers on the small annoyances of life, but is unaware of the important factor of the long-standing anger already present.  This long-standing anger makes it easy to explode over very little.

Since these blockages hinder the flow of prana, or energy, throughout the system, they eventually hurt our physical health as well.  This is because each chakra is in charge of pumping energy to certain organs as well as throughout the entire body.

Let’s take another example: say someone is a perfectionist.  Naturally, they don’t consider this habitual way of thinking about themselves to be stressful or a cause of stress.  This person’s view is that they simply have a certain standard for their work or whatever they do.  However, perfectionism may easily impact a person by them being subconsciously and constantly hard on themselves: negative thoughts and emotions are created and directed to themselves.

The person is unknowingly blocking much potential inner peace, relaxation, happiness, and possibly self-love.  Negative self-talk and negative emotions directed at oneself will manifest as congestion in multiple energy centers.

Anxiety is a common side-effect of perfectionism, and this specific kind of energy becomes a block in the throat chakra.  Over time, it can cause the throat chakra to malfunction, as well as block the flow of energy to the organs connected to it.  This congestion can potentially lead to health conditions related to the throat over time.

Stress and tension of any kind inhibits the flow of prana throughout the system.

Ironically and unfortunately, the biggest stress we have is very often the most hidden and subconscious.  And the biggest stress we have is going to be the most likely to cause health problems!

Daily things like getting stuck in traffic, a tiff with a co-worker, an approaching deadline at work, we naturally let go of within 15 minutes of getting home–at most, a couple of weeks.  The negative energy of stress and frustration are released.  What we don’t release within 15 min is the fear of losing one’s job over years of bad economic conditions, the guilt of lying to someone we care about, constant hatred or negativity directed toward others or the world, betrayal, old trauma, and much more.

How can you identify iceberg stress?

One thing to notice about yourself is if you have a hard time being happy even when things are going fine.  If you easily get into a bad mood or just aren’t cheerful even when nothing really happened to cause it–or something really trivial caused it–you most likely have some more deep-seated stress of some kind.  If most of your words are negative, then most of your thoughts are–and your emotions will be too.  Your words can be an indicator of iceberg stress.

Some of the stresses stuck in our energy systems are things we genuinely don’t even care about anymore!  But the congested energy gets stuck in our channels and we feel it anyway!  It causes us irritability, depression, a bad mood,  emotional fatigue, and just takes the fun out of life.

Take time to analyze your habitual thought patterns.  Question every single thought you have for several days.  Is it yours or someone else’s?  Is it something so old you don’t even agree with it or care about it anymore?  Is it a bad habit you picked up?  Is it a repetitive negative mental or emotional loop you need to drop?  Do you have an old grudge?  You lose out on happiness and inner peace every day you hold onto this old stuff.

If you are still not sure what your thoughts are like, do 15 minutes of writing every morning or evening.  Just write every thought that you think down on the paper.  It may surprise you to take this look inside your head.  Don’t over-think it, but just blurt it all out with the pen.  This is always a good way to blow off steam as well.

Stop negative thoughts in their tracks!  Think positive thoughts contrary to them.  The negative thoughts and negative energy will eventually dry up and evaporate from your system.

Much faster and easier though…. You guessed it!!  Pranic Healing can wipe your slate clean in a jiffy.  What would take you a couple of months can probably be done in a session or two.  Imagine what an 8-session package will do to your thoughts, your mood, and your energy level!

You clean your body in the shower every day.  Don’t you think you should clean your mind and emotions even once in a while so you can start fresh??

Sessions with me are available (see Services page), but even better, why not learn to do it yourself?

Pranic Healing Level I is scheduled for February 26-27 in Bellevue!  Taught by Gayle Nelson.

Ultimately, you will want to take Pranic Psychotherapy (for which Level I is a prerequisite).  But Level I will teach you some techniques you can use for stress as well.

Come to a Free Introduction to Pranic Healing!  Find out what Pranic Healing is all about and learn a technique or two before committing to the full weekend class!  The Intro is just two hours.  I have three scheduled at the moment, and you can check this page regularly for updates and additional free introductions as they are scheduled.