originally published 5/19
With humanity’s progress comes more awareness of emotions and more honesty about them. With the internet comes more public sharing. I believe this is a good thing, as even the loneliest person can find solace that others are experiencing the same things they are. We are becoming far more accepting of our and others’ negative emotions as normal and ok. This is much better than suppressing and hiding them because we are embarrassed, ashamed, or think they are a sign of weakness or immaturity.
The side effect of this that I see is that we go from accepting, validating, and forgiving ourselves and each other our negative emotions (which is healthy), to getting unintentionally stuck in them by adding on a thick layer of self-pity in many cases. It doesn’t sound nice, it’s not gonna make us thrilled to realize it, but I promise that if this is an issue for you, the benefits of admitting it to yourself are more than worth it. What we bring to the light, we can heal. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t know it from experience.
The healthy way to handle negative emotions is to admit, acknowledge, express, and release. Start with awareness of how you are honestly feeling. Express, aka let OUT those emotions, in a way that works for you. This can be talking about them, doing Twin Hearts Meditation, going to therapy, writing them down, exercising, Pranic Healing, or other ways.
From there, we are to retain our mental understanding of a problem or situation that spurred the painful feelings and continue to work to improve it or solve it.
What we too often do instead is acknowledge our feelings, then take the fact that they are justified to then feeling sorry for ourselves. This, I believe, is where things take an unhealthy turn.
Self-pity is quicksand. It pulls you down and keeps you there indefinitely. It takes a bad situation, makes it far worse, and keeps you stuck. Your thoughts and emotions go in circles. You are looking less for a solution and more for indefinite validation from another person, the universe, the internet, or somewhere else.
I believe regular self-pity leads to long-term depression. I believe it dis-empowers you and puts the power for change somewhere else. You sit around feeling miserable and waiting for some kind of miracle to occur for you to feel better.
Self-pity is an emotion, it is not a fact-based event. It is nothing more than an energy which makes you feel 10x worse, and which can be removed any time you wish it to. It is dangerous, as you get a small enjoyment out of a negative feedback loop, forgetting that the enjoyment of rising above that loop is 1,000x greater.
Self-pity, or feeling sorry for one’s self sounds ugly. Embarrassing. Pathetic even. We don’t like the word, we don’t like its implications, and above all, we don’t want to even consider that it’s within us, much less running how we are handling life’s situations.
Personally, I’d rather experience temporary pain and embarrassment and admit what’s happening so I can then heal it. Perhaps I have even offended you at the suggestion you have it too…. I hope not, but it’s still worth it to me. Stare it in the face and then chuck it out of your life forever!
I have found with Pranic Healing, the more specific I intend and ask for what I want healed, the more laser-focused and effective the healing is. Feel the pain and admit to yourself what needs to be admitted. It’s more than worth it.
Moms are rather famous for self-pity. I read it on the mom blogs–this emotion seeps from seemingly every sentence in some posts. Women and moms have a lot to legitimately complain about, as the balance of household work is scientifically proven to be profoundly skewed in our culture and most others. There are other inequities, for many individuals and groups, many undeniable, fair grievances to be made. However, the never-ending anger and self-pity are no healthier just because these feelings are justified. Self-pity adds pain on top of pain.
When I became aware of self-pity in myself and did healing on that one simple emotion, I was lifted so far up out of negativity, I was in complete awe. I had so much more clarity, calmness. Even my worst emotions fell half as low as before.
I also moved through my OTHER negative emotions many times faster than before. Get out of this quicksand now. Take it from me.
Like many negative emotions, we sometimes get stuck thinking it is serving a purpose. For instance, if we stay unhappy, that will propel us to solve our problems, get the attention from the other person causing them to get them solved, etc.
Please fear not. Your effectiveness at EVERYTHING skyrockets when you feel better, have clear thoughts, and are in a peaceful state.
If you’ve taken Arhatic Yoga, use the purification technique from that class as a Pranic Psychotherapy shortcut. It’s amazing and I have used it hundreds of times this way. To do Pranic Healing on self-pity, try focusing the back solar plexus chakra. Or do a full Pranic Psychotherapy protocol on all the upper chakras to be thorough. Or, of course, schedule a full session with me and I would be happy to help. I got results SO fast with Pranic Healing, and it was one of the most important of the many shifts I have made! I wish for the same peace for all of you.